Stop Destroying Ourselves

Hey you, yeah you. This is for you. You may have gotten here by accident, or you may have searched google trying to find some answers as to why you feel so bad, or that you feel hopeless, helpless, no use, how to stay sober, wondering why you can’t get certain thoughts out of your head..etc. etc. whatever the case may be you ended up here. I remember sitting in my small 1-bedroom apartment and just absolutely suffering. Bad. I couldn’t get thoughts out of my head.

I didn’t know how to explain my condition to anyone including myself. I couldn’t explain how I was feeling. I couldn’t get the intrusive memories and thoughts out of my head. I had no one to turn to. No one for guidance. Nothing. I was alone. I was always anxious, on edge, depressed, withdrawn from everyone including family.

I was numbing myself daily with alcohol and smoking cigarettes at a rate of at least 1 pack a day. I remember as I would sit there drinking and destroying my body and making it impossible for my soul to heal, I’d have these thoughts come in my mind that I should be eating vegetables and working out with weights. Instead of destroying myself, I should be nurturing myself. Healing myself.

These thoughts were only a pipe dream, and nothing more. A few more years went by, somehow I’d managed to survive as I wondered down dark road after dark road. I felt like I was in the depths of hell, and then someone gave me the gift of a gym membership, and the path to a newfound peace was forged. I’ve been hooked on exercise ever since. Working out is not only a tool I use to get through life, it’s a passion, and a necessity. I only wished I’d started a few years earlier.

Life is difficult, and I continue to struggle and make mistakes, but the fact that I can work out on a regular basis has allowed me to survive. I want to raise awareness and provide an opportunity for helpful discussion.