My Brother
I am grateful for my brother for many reasons. He’s a great man, he’s kind hearted, has been through a lot, and has always been there for me. But, above all else, he had to tolerate me when we were kids. Although I defended him on the playground (like all older brothers should), I wasn’t always the nicest at home. So many times over the years I have continuously beat myself up for all the times I mistreated my younger siblings. They always tell me to “move past it”, but I truly cannot. I think I took out what I was going through (as a teen especially), on them, and that, is something I’ll never be able to forgive myself for. I should have been better. Stronger… But…
What I can do is reflect on the good times we’ve had since then…
I have an immense amount of respect for my brother, and for many reasons. Among other positive traits, he has always had an excellent work ethic. Growing up he faced challenges at school as well as at home. Like me, school did not come easy for him, but with the help of a tutor at an early age he persevered. One challenge he had that I did not, was having me as an older brother! I am five years older than he is and like previously mentioned, I was not always the “kindest” older brother. However we shared (and continue to) a bond that is typical yet special between siblings. We always shared a room (it’s important for girls to have their own room if possible) and were incredibly lucky to each have “super single” waterbeds and an old black & white television with first an Atari then a Nintendo game system. He was (and still is) a much better “gamer” than I am!
As much of a tough time I gave him growing up I have him to thank for my chipped front tooth. One afternoon we were playing in the backyard, and we had a tent back there that we oftentimes used during the warmer months for little “campouts”. Well, this one afternoon I did something to piss him off (not unusual) and I took off running. After I got about twenty feet or so away, I turned to see if he was chasing me. Oh, he wasn’t chasing me, he had picked up an aluminum tent pole and hurled it at me! Just as I turned my head the tentpole hit me square in the mouth! I probably deserved it, but it hurt like hell! I could not eat for a few days I remember, and of course had to get dental work done. But there were a couple of times where my brother was drilled in the mouth himself, once with a baseball and once with a baseball bat during a time when we were at Newton Hills State Park trying to enjoy a family picnic. I felt so bad for him. My buddy…
My brother has always been a good, diligent worker. Ever since his first high school job at Taco Johns, he has been gainfully employed and performing well even through some of his own personal life’s challenges. A heartbreaking divorce did not keep him down. He, just like our father, is a good salesman. In fact, he has kind of “taken over” you could say dad’s old spot and is carrying the torch just fine while continuing to grow his own clientele.
I have not always been the best example for my brother, but I have been able to be there for him during his very few times of need. He on the other hand always seems to be there for me when times are tough. He is always there to talk with me about almost anything. He is a great listener and is not quick to judge, and his generosity is plenteous. Sometimes his wonderful smile is enough. But there have been challenging times when I’d ask for a small loan, and we’d drive to the atm, and he’d pull out hundreds of dollars and refuse to let me pay it back. Then he’d take me to the gas station and fill up my car!
- Like everyone, my brother, as I mentioned, has had to face his share of adversity. He went through an extremely hard divorce about 10 years ago. One where he tried, with everything he had to salvage. He bravely faced his inner demons, and with great courage, swallowed his pride and did everything within his power to correct whatever it was that upset his wife. Sadly, however, it was all in vain as it was just too late. Unfortunately, it remains a struggle to this day because although she is a good mother to their children, from my point of view, his ex-wife wife continues to make things difficult by antagonizing him any chance she gets. This is MY opinion and observation, not that of my brother, and certainly not his kids.
After the divorce, and while working two jobs, he needed a temporary car to fill the gap so I was lucky enough to be in a place where I could lend him mine. Although despite a family member claiming that I was “enabling” him, which, I just do not see it that way, I was happy to do it. Soon however, he eventually inherited the white minivan that belonged to our late grandparents, and when the time came for him to upgrade, instead of selling the van like he easily could have, he gave it to me. Why? Because that is who my brother is.
Along with being a terrific dad, he is also the “favorite uncle” to my two children. “Uncle J!” they proudly exclaim when in his presence. In addition, he enjoys taking his nieces, along with his children to numerous concerts (Taylor Swift and Weezer), Worlds of Fun, or Valleyfair! Oh, and an upcoming father/daughters trip to see Billie Eilish!
The gratitude that I feel for my brother is nothing short of exceptional. Everything from his kind heart, to his energy, to his beautiful smile. Through his flaws, and tiny imperfections, and our little arguments..I love him unconditionally. Because that is what we do.
Love Always,
Cody